These Sex Toys are Putting the ‘Poke’ Back in Pokémon Go (NSFW)

Somethings are just too good not to report, such as these sex toys based on the popular Pokémon Go craze. The “Pokémoan” collection includes four dildos that are guaranteed to put the “Poke” back in “Pokémon.”

These Sex Toys are Putting the 'Poke' in Pokémon Go (NSFW)

MIC reports that Geeky Sex Toys, (site definitely not safe for work, unless you work at Doc Johnson, or Vivid Video), an Australian site that specializes in “combining pop culture with sex toys” and “re-imagining them in a fun and nerdy way,” has released its new collection that includes an assortment of “Pokéables,” named: Bulby, Charmy, Squirty and Piky, which are named after Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle and Pikachu respectively.

**Please read in your best Pokésex voice:

‘Bulby’ – A grass type Pokémoan. Bulby has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have. It’s seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide.

‘Charmy’ – A slightly thinner, fire type Pokémoan with a flaming tail. Standing 18cm tall and 4cm wide at its widest point Charmy gives intense orgasms everywhere it goes.

‘Squirty’ – A water Pokémoan. Squirty has a smooth round head with a large grooved turtle shell on its back. Its bubbly head measures 4cm wide whilst his body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall.

‘Piky’ – This small electric type anal Pokémoan is a perfect size for the average Pokémoan trainer. Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team. Its insertable size is 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and his tail is 8cm long.

All our Pokémoan toys are made using 100% skin safe silicone.

(I don’t know about you, but there’s no way I’m letting that “Piky” anywhere near my Pokéballs… – Ed.)

“We had always intended on doing a Pokémoan range of toys,” a representative for Geeky Sex Toys told MIC in an email. “When Pokémon Go came out we decided to move them up the priority list.”

But Pokémon is for kids, right? Consenting adults would NEVER be attracted to a silicone Pikachu, right? Wrong answer, Team Rocket! It seems consenting adult lovers of a good Poké are more than willing to spend $50 – $69 to make a bulby Bulbasaur a part of their bedroom Pokégym workout.

“People are going nuts over the Pokémoan products, absolutely loving them,” says the Geeky Sex Toys rep. “We have had an overwhelming response and are flat out trying to keep up.”

All of this is definitely not licensed by Nintendo, and we can likely expect some kind of legal action once the Japanese gaming company gets wind of this. But, until then, consenting adult Pokémon Go fans can continue to try to “catch ’em all!” no matter how they would pull that trick off.